Dear Yogis,

A lot of people are trying to improve their lives by dealing with the external fruit of their actions.  They are attempting to change their bad habits, bad attitudes, bad tempers or negative and sour personalities.  They are like gardeners trying to change the tree by fixing the fruit.  It is noble – they have noticed something is wrong and they are trying to fix it… but the truth of the matter is, unless they treat the root they will never be able to change the fruit.

As long as that bitter root is growing on the inside, the problem will persist and in different guises will pop up again and again.

You may be able to control your attitude for a little time but have you wondered why you can’t get free? Why you can’t defeat a destructive lingering habit?

You have to take the time to look deeply.  If you get to the root of the problem you will be able to deal with it, overcome the problem, and only then is there a possibility of change.  Of course you have to want to change. Remember the old joke.  “How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One. But it has to want to change.”

 Some people who are stuck don’t even know it is them.  They think the world is against them.

You don’t have to go backwards and relieve every negative experience, but you would do well to examine your heart to make sure you have no buried anger or unforgiveness on the inside.  After a while, not only do we not clean it out, we accept it.  I am sure you have heard people say “I am always this bitter.  It is just who I am”.  It’s like a small toxic waste dump.  It looks ok for some time then as the ground shifts and the rain comes,  the waste starts to leak out destroying everything it touches.

Only forgiveness gets rid of the poison. When we hang onto unforgiveness it doesn’t hurt the other person it hurts us.   If you want to move on with your life you have to let the hurt go.  You don’t do it for the other person, you do it for you –  SO YOU CAN BE FREE.. Don’t forget that we must forgive ourselves too.  It is not just about other people.


Many times you can be hard-headed and stubborn.  There are lots of reasons you can give yourself why you won’t change.  If you want to be happy, if you want to be free get that junk out of your life.