Dear Yogis,
Gorgeous gardening weather, and not a time for dark thoughts – but I had them this morning. Read on only if perhaps you wish to be challenged. Maybe you have had these thoughts, may be not, they are not easy to deal with. I hope that my thoughts have helped you – it was totally new way of looking at my relationships. I did play a role in them and am still processing. At the time I did have the opportunity to love myself enough to move away, but did not – I am still processing after all this time. This is what it is all about – as Tina said “What has love got to do with it?”.
This morning, for the very first time in my life I experienced an actual dark cloud descend on me! Recently I was talking about love with a student, we spoke of our partners, how they had “done us wrong” and how, no matter the depth of our hurt, we admitted still to feelings of love – not an unusual girl conversation. A female thing?
The cloud visited this morning when I moved on from this conversation, to recall an episode of Kavanagh QC with JohnThaw. He played a QC working with the International Tribunal of War Crimes. They were trying to bring to justice a German who worked as a Doctor in the camps. The doctor said he was a prisoner, had escaped to England and “become” English. More English than the English, he even had the camp tattoo. No one could or would say otherwise until an old lady was brough to the stand. She called him her “Angel”. Under a number of episodes of clever and gentle questioning by Kavanagh, it turns out that the man was a Doctor in the camps, he was her abuser and he was her rescuer, and she loved him for that. This response in the old days was called the Stockholm Syndrome. Yes, he was brought to justice.
I wondered if that is the same as an abusive (emotional or physical) relationship where we love our abuser because any other response is not open to us at the time. I can only say what it felt like to me. As a human and especially as a female, I have to process this, move through to forgiveness and find a new place. I have thought about it before but only as a vague thought – this morning brought it right to the mat. Thank goodness for yoga, meditation and the Tibetan Book of the Dead (an interesting thought I will explore) – how would we move forward without the safety of our mat? Our special country.
Stockholm syndrome is a complex—and often misunderstood—phenomenon, and is not defined as a mental health condition by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5 TR). Instead, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) considers it a mental and emotional response. Stockholm syndrome is typically considered a psychological defence or coping mechanism experienced by some during extreme trauma, like kidnapping, domestic abuse or human sex trafficking. At this point I would like to know more about Stockholm syndrome and what it might look like in different scenarios, like abusive relationships and even unhealthy workplace dynamics.
Note: I have spoken of my experience as Stockholm syndrome, but some mental health clinicians recommend the term trauma bonding instead, as it may be less stigmatizing.
“………….I’ve been taking on a new direction, but I have to say I’ve been thinking about my own protection – It scares me to feel this way……..” (Tina Turner)
YOGA CLASSES AND STUDIO TIMES…..
Windarring Yoga – Tues. x 2 +Thurs. x 1. (some Fridays)
STUDIO YOGA WOODEND: Monday Hatha 1pm (full) 2.15 Wed. Restorative 1pm. STUDIO SEWING BEE – Sundays at 2.30
TAROT READINGS AT THE STUDIO – Look forward to hearing from you. You can even come on the weekends, and I can do “doubles” – you and mum, maybe you and a friend. BRAILLE Tarot deck and usb – a course on tarot reading for the blind is on the way…
THE YOGA LUNCHEON: As always the last Saturday in the month. The next at 12noon the 28th October – PUT IT IN YOUR DIARY NOW.. I have booked for us to go to The Full Moon in Woodend. Warm, “homey” and great food. I love the Nachos – with chicken – with prawns – vegan, or Mexican. Any of them are great.
SEE YOU IN THE STUDIO (and at the yoga lunch at the end of the month)